Automatic

Anderson showed up to see me in his Sunday best on this Sunday. Sunday is a dog hidden under a bed, as Gaúcho poet Mário Quintana said one day. The boy had a downcast face you don't usually see on a Sunday. I had to tell him his aspect had seen better days.

"Yup, I suppose you can easily notice that, huh?", he seemed daunted.

"That's why you dropped by today, no? It's been a while since we last met, I don't even think you have seen my new house inside…"

He mechanically said it was nice, a half-smile to make an impression he did care about it, the almost cultural formal refusal to insult me by not caring. It was no good. We knew perfectly well visiting the house or myself was hardly the reason why he was in my house.

"So… What's going on?"

He told me he had been dreaming about the Obscure Police lately. That he was like being dragged into its power. He recalled that the dreams had started in early April. I remember the dreams Anderson, Andrés and I had had then. He said that besides those dreams we had in which we saw Renan more like a shadow, he alone started dreaming about the Obscure Police (that I didn't even know existed in early April). I told him all that had happened these days and he said he had heard about Adriano's misfortune, but was really surprised to see me included in the late night plan.

"Renan sometimes seems to lose all control", he stated, "I don't know how he can be so vindicative…"

I put it point-blank he had something to do with the Obscure Police or so it seemed by what he was describing and he was pale in the face. It was plain to see the blood had fled his face as that of a patient whom a fatal diagnosis is given.

"Do you have anything to do with all this stuff of Obscure Police, Anderson?", I did insist, but he never gave me any answer.

Andrés came to talk to me as I walked into the farm Taurinos' porch and didn't take long to tell me he had "heard" my talk with Anderson. Also he didn't find it strange that the lad would visit me.

"It seems his process has already begun", he stated, as simple as enigmatically.

I asked him to explain what he meant by that. He didn't seem willing to; said I could have asked Anderson himself and that I had missed the opportunity since he had been earlier in my house. I argued with him and said he himself had brought the issue up and shouldn't be playing deaf right now.

"Anderson does have a relation with the Obscure Police", he conceded.

"And what is this relation?"

"He created the name everyone in town uses nowadays, much to Renan's disappointment."

"Holy mother of God, does Renan know about it?"

"He does. But he excuses Anderson."

I was stunned, remembering all Adriano and I had been through that night.

"Why does he excuse Anderson? He had us throught that all. And the other lad, that Célio da Dica he did send to the same hospital he sent Adriano."

Andrés asked me to sit with him at the porch. I was waiting for what was going to follow. He declared everything came from the night on which I saw the tools under the little shed by the farm house in the middle of February. The weapons used to kill the five outsiders were all furnished by Anderson. Didn't kill them himself, but did take active part in it by giving Renan the tools to be used. I heard it all in disbelief. Never thought Anderson could do it. I knew he approved of the policy but this had to be a giant step into its enforcement.

"The same power Renan controls will control him all the time, this is why he is so automatic. Renan exposed himself to the power by killing those men and the power has taken hold of him. He controls and is controlled. Anderson does control the power too, but as he didn't kill the men himself is not controlled by the Obscure Police. Not yet. Renan excuses him because he wants to be gentle to his friend. Because he wants to see his friend in the Police with him, he wants no arguments with Anderson. At least for now, while his stock of patience lasts. And, believe me, he hasn't got a lot of it available."

Andrés made a long pause, as though he was studying what to say next. He was staring at me like he was in doubt whether he should go on talking. And he said at last, "now I've been angry with Renan and still am, but I guess I feel more like sorry for him than anything else. If there's someone who's in trouble in town this has to be him. To be created for what he has to do for the town is way too wicked. You don't want to know. As Bruno had that episode of desperation when you came back to town, his outburst that night is the same stuff that makes Renan's desperation right now. The emptiness of the Infinity he carries on his forehead. Let alone knowing he has no place to run."

I was sad, but told him that knowing the Master Plan as well as he did it only added to his responsibility with the other lads. Told him the process was not being fair to anyone here as far as I knew. That he could be a guiding light in this darkness. He said nothing else.

Eshu on his work to work | Half-life

Radio Universal: Obscure Police