Gnat

The officers returned from Varginha at the end of the afternoon. Anderson went straight home with his father as soon as they got to Taurinos. I put Renan on the bed. He looked better after seeing the doctor, but not much better.

I asked him if he could do without me for a couple of hours. I'd have dinner on the farm Taurinos, but it was not only a dinner. The other Taurinos' Ancient Society's members were coming around to discuss the Obscure Police and the most recent events involving them. The news had spread throughout the town, everyone was apprehensive with what was going on with the two.

"What are you going to talk about us?", he felt feverish to get the news and motioned to get up from bed. I told him to give up. Said not even Anderson was going to be there. The kid said it was wrong to discuss things about them without them being present.

"Remember when you sentenced Andrés to die because of the ceremony failure in March? Was he present? No and he was being judged. You even aren't. What we want to do is to discuss how we could help you out of this mess."

"There's nothing to do, we are well past help, Miss Grisam. Anderson is now my enemy. Now I work with my enemy. When I prefer to see my best friend silent instead of having him say all those awful things to me all the time, things cannot be going fine you know. We'll be like this for good and when the outsiders start coming to town, there'll be no one left to defend it. If you think Taurinos is hell now, wait and see what will follow next."

Now I don't know whether coming back to this town and not to my original body was the right decision to make. But if had gone back to my body and died the "natural" way, wouldn't I come to this town anyway? Wouldn't I go through all this I've been through since February? How could I ever know? I could never ever know.

If there's any difference between adults and children in this town, it is just that while the children are aware they are in hell, adults prefer to ignore the fact.

Eventually I gave Renan a piggyback to the farm Taurinos. All present there, Adriano, Andrés, Arthur, Bruno, Guilherme, master Danilo. They were just waiting for me, Anderson (that wasn't coming) and Renan (that no one supposed would come). All were astonished to see him there, considering the news widespread in town. He had dinner with us, but ate almost nothing, causing Aparecida to be baffled "Miss Grisam, this lad is eating like a bird, I haven't seen him like that in my living memory", she said.

"This row between him and Anderson is destroying the two of them, Aparecida."

At the porch, when the owners of the farm had already gone to bed, we started the meeting. I knew the theme for the meeting was the health conditions of the two officers. But there could be surprises. We only know we can expect the unexpected in this town of Taurinos.

"Since brother Renan is present, I'd like to ask him if he told brother Anderson beforehand about what he was supposed to do during his Initiation in the Obscure Police", asked Renan's biological brother as soon as we opened the works.

"Yes. He wouldn't have had the time to build the impaling machine if I hadn't explained it all to him beforehand."

"Why was his Initiation different from yours?", added Bruno.

"The question is "if" and not "why" his Initiation was different from mine. Who told you his Initiation was different from mine? What do you know about my Initiation to ask me that, Bruno?"

Bruno was silent, without an answer to give in return. There was a huge and brooding pause. Renan nearly fainted having using so much energy to question his friend.

"What you saw Anderson do on the top of that mountain I did all by myself at the same spot. No one around. It happened, happened and I saw how the power dominated the person as an instrument and had that effect."

"Wasn't there any other way to bring brother Anderson to work? You know what I mean, that meeting in the Mithraeum, he must be struggling to swallow that until today", it was Arthur who spoke now.

Renan suddenly looked at him and all around.

"Hey, am I being judged, is this what it is all about?"

Master Danilo reassured him, "no one's being judged here, Master Renan, we only want to understand why you two are quarreling so much. It is going to be better for the whole of the community if we can work that out together."

"Work what out? How do all of you plan to change his feelings?", he inquired turning his eyes to the old countryman.

"And what about your feelings? What are they?"

Renan looked confused, staring at the Conselheiro for lost time. Then it seemed to me he managed to see through Andrés' brother's intentions to ask him that.

"What do you mean by that, Adriano?"

"What do you feel for Anderson?"

One could hear a gnat's heart beating within the silence that followed. I told Renan it wasn't necessary to answer that. Adriano questioned me, "I think it's normal to ask, we are only talking about Anderson's feelings but there are two of them, right? On his birthday all he cared about was to look for Anderson. On the following day, went to Anderson's hardware store and ended up being disinherited by his father because of it. Shouldn't I ask? Do you like Anderson, Renan?"

The lads were serious as I had never seen them. Again we heard the gnat's heart beating. It was a vibration that slightly shook the air around us: tinnitus. So it was no gnat's heart beating after all. I asked them whether they could hear it. A discussion suddenly arose about what it could be. Andrés kept silent during the discussion, alternating looks at me and Renan. The latter glanced strangely at me. Not that I was not used to him looking at me like that, but given the circumstances, it seemed to me it was densely meaningful.