Crucifying

Andrés came knocking on my door. It was nine in the morning, a time at which I'm not used to waking up. There's usually a little pest on duty to wake me up at seven, but today the little pests on duty were a bit late. Andrés walked in, a bit agitated, and went to the kitchen with me.

"So what's new?", I asked still sleepy, lighting the stove to make coffee. The reader of my diaries will come gradually and logically to the conclusion that I live on coffee and nothing else. They'll come to the conclusion that if they die and go to hell, coffee will be the only meal they'll have every day. But it happens only because I love coffee and love to describe the moments around it.

"Downtown is sheer hell today", he said while he cleaned his glasses a bit nervously.

"I asked what is new, Andrés. Sheer hell downtown is hardly what I'd call something new."

He smiled a bitter quasi-smile. Then he put his glasses back on.

"Anderson and Renan have nailed the Mayor of Taurinos to a cross at the main square. They are there right now, the whole town around it, like ants around an anthill."

"And just where would they find wood for that cross?"

He looked at me puzzled at my reply, attentively following me with his eyes behind those strong lenses, "but I'm telling you that Renan and Anderson have nailed the Mayor of Taurinos to a cross and all you got to ask me is where they'd find wood for that cross??? Don't you find it strange that the Mayor has been nailed to a cross???"

"Had you lived in a town like Santos like I did, you'd know well how it feels to want to see the Mayor nailed to a cross."

I watched the water as it released its first air bubbles on its way to boiling. Thought of the Mayor of Santos delightfully nailed to a beautiful cross and the very thought of it gave me immeasurable pleasure.

"Besides, what do you want me to do? An imitation of Donald Trump or Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva? Juggling with eggs or a crazy quilt?"

"I didn't get it…"

"I mean, I'm not running to town like a madwoman every time one of the seven of you does something weird. Andrés. Do you have a clue how many weird things you all do a day? Don't I need to eat, to drink, to take a shower, don't I?"

There was an extended, almost eternal pause. The water came to a boil in the meantime and the songbirds distracted me from the pause left by Andrés. I poured the water watching calmly as it came through the coffee powder then pouring more to break down the cliffs formed by the wet powder. All this while the Mayor of the town was still in vertical position,
nailed to an obnoxious cross.

Andrés was in silence. He had breakfast with me and made me promise we'd go to town as soon as we were finished. I was beginning to get nervous with him and with the obnoxious perspective of getting to town and finding the Mayor of the town nailed to a cross.

Well, as announced before, there the Mayor was, nailed to the cross. From a distance, we could see the hubbub around the event. And I thought of the lack of something better to do for the locals, leaving the beans on the stove fire to burn to come see this shit going on the main square. From here it was plain to see Anderson mounted guard in front of the cross and spoke out to the crowd swarming all around so he could better get his point across.

"May this be a warning to all those wanting to come to agreements that aim to bring outsiders to Taurinos!"

Woke up in a medieval and phantasmagorical community, a medieval Golgotha in the dead center of the main square. Passing by the hardware store, we saw Alberto passively contemplating the public torture for want of better things to do for the morning. Not that I loved the Mayor but didn't want to wake up every day and have to talk children out of crucifying people, not to mention at the main square.

"Alberto, aren't you going to intervene? Isn't that lad over there your son, all in black on that horse and speaking that load of medieval crap? Are you going to wait until they invent the guillotine and install one at the main square too?"

"Don't you yourself create all this? So that's it!"

"I think it's parents shitting in their pants afraid of their offspring who create this. But right you are, blame it on God for everything! It makes it so easy to walk without the burden of our own omissions!"

Andrés heard the argument, but said nothing. Alberto heard my curse and kept looking like an idiot. We started making our way through the compact crowd until there was no one else in front of us but Anderson. And the cross on which the Mayor was nailed to, ruckling, of course. He saw us emerge from the depths of the general ruck and smiled.

"See, Andrés quickly went to call Miss Grisam to the rescue. Did you know he should be on that cross together with the Mayor? And so should Bruno!"

I instinctively glanced at Andrés. As a tiny plump chameleon, he assumed a body language of absolute disguise. I knew that language as few people did in Taurinos.

"Andrés, is there no holding you? Can't you spare five minutes from one shit to the other? What did you do this time? It's the Celestial Gardener now, then back to the Obscure Police, can't you give us even a ghost of a fucking break?"

I turned to Anderson. He was going to start the monotonous chanting of the may this be a warning to all those wanting to come to agreements that aim to bring outsiders to Taurinos when I cut him short.

"Beautiful cross, eh, Anderson? I just loved it. I'll bet you didn't even make it. Now that I have loved the cross, can you please take the Mayor off it?"

Anderson laughed, "you're always in a good mood, eh, Miss Grisam? You bet really right; we "gently persuaded" the Mayor to make the cross for himself. If Renan authorizes it, I'll take him out of the punishment. But it's still very recent you know, not even the vultures have realized he has no choice but staying there."

"But what the heck has the Mayor done for this VIP treatment?"

"He and Mr. Andrés Silva Conselheiro had an agreement to bring outsiders to town. They're Bruno's and Andrés' little friends that live in all of this region and beyond."

"Take the Mayor down and we can discuss that at the Mithraeum", I insisted.

"I've told you, Miss Grisam, only Renan can let him off the cross 'cause it was Renan who put him there." Anderson scowled at Andrés, who wouldn't utter a word.

"And just where'd Renan go at a time like this?"

"He went to Zé's for a snack and will be back soon."

"Well, I'll go and bring Renan back here even if it has to be by the ears to put an end to this new madness of you."

"I recommend against trying to bring Renan here by the ears. It's not exactly Renan you're dealing with. It's the Obscure Police."

"Really? I want you to know that the Obscure Police is dealing with the Council of Taurinos' Ancient Society. Either you take him off that thing or I'll summon a meeting of the Council for today to discuss your attitude", I said and left the older policeman there ass-faced on his horse.

Andrés and I went to Zé's. I did because I wanted to find Renan and put an end to that madness. He did, because he was afraid of being crucified by Anderson in the meantime. There Renan was, at his usual outside table, drinking a 600ml Coke and eating what seemed to be his third snack while the damn Mayor agonized nailed to that nefarious cross. He saw me and beamed but soon was serious as he saw Andrés right behind me.

"Good morning, Mom", he was divided into trying to smile at me, be astonished at my expression and scowl at Andrés.

"Good morning, Mom my fucking ass. Take the Mayor off that cross and put an end to this mockery, Renan!"

"But Miss Gri… Hey, wait you just can't order the Obscure Police around!", he was astonished at my attitude and furious with what he deemed as interference.

"Well, I can't, but the Council of Taurinos' Ancient Society can. Take him off the cross or I'll bring the two of you to Council today!"

Renan was even more astonished with the promise, "would you really bring us to…", and I was quick to cut him short, "there's no would, I will if you don't take the Mayor off that fucking cross!"

"That fella at your side deserves a cross too. And so does Bruno, whose whereabouts I don't even know!"

"Cross my ass! Don't even know where you got this idea from!"

Out of the blue, Adriano appeared coming down the street and pulled the car to the curb as he saw us; I opened the car's door and tucked Andrés in, much to his elder brother's astonishment.

"Take your brother away from here. we'll meet at the Mithraeum later. Go, go!"

"That's it take the guilty away from harm! We'll see to that at the meeting!", Renan objurgated as Adriano departed with his younger brother looking frightened through the window of the car, seriously risking imminent crucification.

"You can be dead sure we'll see to it, young man", I guaranteed, "now can you possibly do as I ask or will we have to discuss the method at the first meeting already?"

When I arrived home, I ran into a horseman coming close to my gate. It was master Danilo. He probably planned to go to town judging by the direction he was coming from. He was appalled to learn about the Mayor's crucification, "but how deranged can they go next, "sá" Stella, there's no holding these youths?!?"

I told him the Mayor ended up in Varginha's General Hospital. There must be an aisle in that hospital only for the natives of Taurinos coming all broken down in pieces for treatment. Told him that I called the members of the Council right from downtown to summon a meeting for today. That I had scheduled the meeting for three p.m. at the Mithraeum.

Mithraeum. Adriano is the Officiant for today. And he has already opened the works asking for silence. Andrés and Bruno glanced at each other sometimes, in the same enigmatic vibe as always, watched attentively by Guilherme and Arthur. Renan and Anderson attended the meeting in black and sat down together fulminating Andrés and Bruno with their fiery eyes. I was going to pick at them for coming to meeting in black, but master Danilo strongly advised me against ranting at details.

"I'll give voice to the police officers so they can explain what happened at the main square today", determined the Officiant, "will brother Renan or Anderson speak?"

Renan stood up and was going to start speaking when the Officiant warned him to remain sitting. Renan sat back on the grandstands, upset.

"Yesterday it came to our attention that the Mayor, Bruno and Andrés sealed a pact to bring outsiders to town. We still don't know what it is but it does involve a lot of people coming to Taurinos, what only makes matters worse for them. So Anderson and I decided we'd crucify the Mayor immediately as an example that no one is above the law in Taurinos. The Police itself has proven it so many times. Weren't it for Miss Grisam he'd still be there on the cross", and looked at me in that mix of frustration and anger that had long been a trait of the lads here.

"Are you finished?", inquired the Officiant as he felt it was too long a pause by Renan.

"For now", growled Renan.

"Brother Renan is called to moderate his tone of voice towards the Officiant or any other member of the Council. I ask brother Bruno where he was when all of the events took place."

"In Varginha, with Arthur", was the answer of a serious Bruno.

"Does brother Andrés want to make any statement?", said the Officiant.

Andrés, mute as a fish since my breakfast table, decided to turn into a new leaf and spoke for the very first time.

"I want to declare that neither Bruno nor I want outsiders to come and fix in town of course. It's a meeting that occurs from time to time in different towns; Bruno and I take part in this event. People come, meet for the event and after some days they go away exactly as they came. No one is going to remain in town, we guarantee."

"Can brother Andrés or Bruno tell us what kind of meeting that is?"

Andrés glanced at Bruno, as if he were wary of telling us what it was. I glanced at master Danilo and he had fallen prey to the same general feeling of suspense all around.

"It's a… It's a… A jamboree."

"Wouldn't it be jabuti?", asked Anderson naively, reminding me of Google's search spelling corrector and making me laugh a shout. Immediately, all the members of the Obscure Police fulminated me with the eyes.

"Silence!", demanded the Officiant, "brother Anderson talks only when given voice to. I also ask for the collaboration from Miss Grisam so the meeting can run more smoothly and fast. Brother Andrés, if you can clarify to this Council what this is…"

"A jamboree is a meeting of boy scouts from a given country, of a continent or region or from all over the world. A meeting in a smaller region like Minas Gerais isn't usually called a jamboree as far as I know, but we decided to keep this name just the same. Bruno and I are part of the Scouting Group from Varginha. All scouting groups from the state have been invited and all have confirmed their presence", he said the last phrase a bit afraid of what it might mean to the others.

There was a huge pause. Astonishment was in the order of the day. Even to them, who came up to me to tell me things as if they had always existed in town for decades.

"You've never told us you were a boy scout, Andrés", said the Officiant, baffled.

"Mr. Officiant, I had never been asked about it before", replied Andrés, causing general laughter to wash over us. Even the Officiant and the Obscure Police had to laugh at Taurinos' most beaten spoken commonplace.

"Now I understand why Bruno and Andrés go to Varginha together once a week", added Arthur.

"Brother Arthur needs to request and wait for voice before speaking. Please I do ask the members of this council to request voice before speaking or the meeting is to be voided unconditionally. I give voice to brother Bruno so he can explain what the meeting is made up of."

Bruno glanced at Andrés, the sudden complicity, maybe only sudden to my eyes.

"It's to work together, sing together, learn, explore together. It's to exchange experiences that are valuable for everyone. To celebrate nature. To build one's character. Many people together learning new things and confirming many old ones."

Anderson requested voice, closely followed by Renan. I glanced again at master Danilo and master Danilo again glanced back at me. Their request was watched with more interest by Arthur and Guilherme than by Andrés and Bruno. And of course by the Officiant, who was supposed to queue the requests.

"I think it's all very nice, but how many people are coming?"

The Officiant gave voice to Bruno, "some five hundred."

"Confirmed?", asked the Officiant.

"Yes, confirmed."

"Are you aware this number accounts for a quarter of this town's population?"

"Yes", Bruno glanced at Andrés in suspense. Renan raised his hand again to request voice and the Officiant reminded him he had him written down and queued.

"I give brother Renan voice now."

"Can the brother of infinite celestial agriculture tell us…"

"Brother Renan, cut down sarcasm and disrespect for a member of the council. Avoid nullifying this meeting", the current Officiant conducted one of the most complicated meetings of Mithraeum's recent history.

"Can brother Bruno tell this Council how come a group this large is going to stay in town without causing trouble and impact on the nature you're so very fond of?", Renan glanced at the Officiant to check that he approved of his new tone of voice and phrasing.

Bruno also glanced at the Officiant and answered.

"I would like to remind brother Renan that we are in the same boat here so it is the nature we all like. Your concern about nature in Taurinos is recent as far as I know. Now to answer your question, boy scouts have proposals for the conservation of the town and the nature of Taurinos during the event. Something that some Agents of law don't have…"

Renan was going to stand up, infuriated when the Officiant told him to take his seat again, "brother Bruno is called to limit his answers to the question asked by brother Renan."

Bruno and Andrés took turns to explain their action plan in details for the meeting. Anderson still raised the issue of groups going to special places in town like the Basilisk Island or the Sanctuary where no outsiders should ever go. Andrés and Bruno took the burden of responsibility for this item and for the rest of it all. The Council had fewer and fewer questions in time until none was left to ask. Their permission to hold the event was voted what had its approval as an outcome by 6 votes against 2. Needless to say who voted against. Renan request voice and was allowed to speak.

"I want to tell you something, Andrés and Bruno: what if outsiders start coming to town and take refuge among the tents and what if have to go where their tents are to chase the damn outsiders in the evening or at night? Bring your little boy scout friends if you wish. But I don't want to hear complaints when things start to go weird. Police are going wherever the outsiders go. Have you thought of how cute it would be to hunt one down by the light of a bonfire and have him slaughtered in front of all them kids? You know how weird it is. Good luck, brothers in the Council and in the Scout Fraternity!", and he laughed a tiny fiendish with a cute and satanic little face all at once.