Planaria

Today it was one of the rare days on which I saw Renan for the whole of the morning. Anderson apparently decided not to show up. Guilherme did his things, walking the house up and down all the time. Everyone on the farm seemed to be busy with something. Everyone but Renan and me. I noticed he had nothing else to do but sit in the sun as usual. Today he sat close to a tree, though he didn't sit in the shade. The solar cult present in the minimum details in his and everyone's everyday life. "Holy Mithra!", the Mayor of this town of Taurinos would say.

I think of master Danilo and that it has been long since I last paid him a visit. Been missing the talk at dusk, the delicious aroma of recently-made coffee.

"Have you seen the caterpillar?", asked me Renan, half amused, half angry. If anyone of you's ever seen someone half amused, half angry, you've seen something very much like Renan asking me that question.

I told him I had seen no caterpillar. He seemed frustrated by the fact I had seen nothing like a caterpillar around. Now I remember Andrés too came up yesterday with a talk like "how are you on this day" or any absurdity for that matter. What I could understand was that he was amused at seeing the caterpillar and angry at the fact I had seen nothing.

"I swear it was near here just now", and Renan emphasized the "just now" while he looked around in a vain attempt to spot the caterpillar once again.

Well, positively no caterpillars. Renan looked at me at times, in embarrassed silence. Maybe he could see the caterpillar and I couldn't. Maybe it simply found a hole in the ground to disappear into or anything for that matter.

"The caterpillar told me you wouldn't be able to see him anyway", he sighed resignated.

"See? I knew there would be a logical and rational explanation for all that."

How absurd what I'm saying is. Renan made use of the moment and smiled at me with thousands of tiny teeth. Only then did I realize it was only a dream. I rose to my feet and walked to bed. And there I stayed until I woke up. Renan came to call me for breakfast.

"How are you feeling this morning?", asked the little brat.

I naturally came to the conclusion it [it being the "How are you feeling this morning?" thing] was nothing but a conspiracy between him and Andrés to annoy me at day's first break every morning.

Dreams again. Leaving me in strange and confusing situations again. A certain sense of strangeitude. And I remember I got to talk to Renan and Anderson about the dreaming sessions.

"Do you really think it works? I can't see how it can help us…"

If I only could be sure of something in this weird town of Taurinos… It'd help a whole lot. Not that I want to have all the answers, but it renews confidence on you and helps uplifting spirits of those who think you got all the answers and look to you to fill all of those questions. The problem itself is that reality here is so volatile. Everything turns to everything in such a maddening manner, preventing me from any logical analysis. Strange how sometimes I feel so comfortable in this weird world to even forget about myself. When did I ever live a common reality of people who wake up early, go to work and return home at the end of the day to spend the night with their family, watch some normal TV shows and go to bed for one more working day? I guess I was never made for this kind of everyday life anyway.

"Ms. Grisam", the boy pulled me by the sleeve, something I hate about the boys here, "I'm talkin' to you."

"Well, I think it does help", I replied automatically, for the sheer obligation of reciprocating, lost as I was in my wild wonderings.

"Ms. Grisam, what is a planaria?", asked he, changing the subject abruptly.

I explained what a planaria was and he was furious. I wondered why the explanation would enfuriate him. Only when Anderson set foot on the farm could I slightly understand why and eventually had to prevent them from fighting. What I understood under Renan's heavy swearing was that Anderson compared his little dick to a planaria in size and shape. Renan probably knew less at the time of the discussion and remembered to ask me about it only today. Only to avoid being unfair to his friend. I found it was cute of him.

At master Danilo's at the end of the day. He smiled a bit tired of the day, but with the usual feeling of comraderie. With the usual coffee and the calm and peaceful atmosphere of his nice little ranch.

"Well, I thought you'd come no more. But today it was funny that I decided not to heat the old coffee I still had, I decided to make some fresh coffee as if somehow I knew you'd come…"

I told him about the dreaming sessions and what was going on with Renan. He gave me a knowing smile.

"Dreams here are different from everything people usually dream about in other places in Minas and elsewhere, where they are already wild. Most of the times dreams here have a peaceful character, but will have so many details that many turn out to be complete nonsense."

I told him I understood. That what he said had a lot to do with the dreams I've had these days. That massive amount of details, the nonsensical events, everything. That issue of Renan's shadow appearing in dreams I never got to fully explain. Maybe it was nothing, maybe it made a world of difference.

Nostalgia | Something weird

Radio Universal: Shadowplay